Snow White & the Huntsman ★ ½

ONCE UPON A TIME IN A PRODUCTION MEETING


Release Dates
Australia 21st June, 2012   USA 22nd 1st June, 2012   UK 30th May, 2012
Other Countries Release Dates

In the darkened cinema—made darker by the bleak grey palette used in ‘Snow White and The Huntsman’—my mind wandered. That’s what happens when the film is agonizingly slow.  You start thinking about the school run and that book you must finish and what to cook for dinner tomorrow night. 
               Eventually, my thoughts turned to the production meetings I imagined occurred in bringing this film to screen to darken my evening. Hear this conversation in multiple enthusiastic American accented voices.  Like Chris Hemsworth, I am an Australian, and just like him I can’t do foreign accents.

An Office in La-La Land

‘We have Kristen Stewart and she’ll bring all the Twihards.’

‘Plus we’ve got Charlize Theron.  She’s looking fabulous and got that Oscar too; so there’s credibility there.  She’ll get in the men—and the women (she has that appeal).'

‘And then we’ve got Chris Hemsworth.  Oh yes, yes, we all know he  can’t do accents (#&%*? Australian accent always slips through).  But look, as long as his hair is long and he’s still swinging something around that reminds them he’s Thor then nobody will care.’

‘The Dwarves though, they’re a problem.  There are no famous dwarf actors.  We can’t use the Oompa Loompa or that mini-me guy, they’re not craggy enough looking.  No, what we’ll do is we’ll get well known full size character actors and use CGI to make them look like dwarves.  Nah, nah, don’t worry about the “Dwarves Actor Union”—we’ll tell ‘em we may be remaking ‘Wizard of Oz’.  That’ll shut ‘em up.’

‘If only we hadn’t stuck these three writers (John Lee Hancock, Hossein Amini, Evan Daugherty) together we could have just got cheaper actors and probably made something interesting.  Separately, they’ve done well for themselves but for some reason they just can’t patch this one together.  They all want their contribution to have equal time on the screen, which has turned it into over two hours of sludge.  But they’re standing firm and we’ve got contracts.’

‘And the Director?  Look everyone’s sick of seeing Spielberg above the title and Ridley is off in space again.  J.J. Abrams, well, he’s good but we need a conclusion here and after “Lost”, we don’t trust that he won’t end it with Snow White really never waking up and it was all set in Heaven. 
There’s this guy, Rupert Sanders.  Nobody’s heard of him—he hasn’t even got a proper bio on IMDB—but his video game commercials are pretty good and that really gives him great experience to handle a big budget Hollywood movie. So he’s not gonna complain or upset the writers or demand any more time and money be spent on the script.  No, he’ll be grateful, he got the job.'    

       ‘Then what we’ll do is start releasing really impressive CGI trailers a year out from the in-cinema date.  Really feature Charlize in them.  Put her in a milk bath and have her come up out of that with it covering her. That’ll get them interested.’

‘Don’t forget Kristen.  Get her to stare blankly at the camera just like she did in all the Twilight movies; and put her in chain mail and get her to hurl a sword around like she means it.  Thats a bit different from Twilight. They didn't give her a weapon, just a bad attitude.’

‘Put a lot of grabs of Chris with mud on his face and scenes with Kristen, like some romance is going to happen, even if it’s not.  And hair—get good shots of his long hair.  CGI it, if you have to.  We’re up against “Brave” and that one’s got good hair.’

‘And get Entertainment Tonight on the phone.  Tell ‘em we’ll fly Mark over to the set and he can interview Charlize.  Tell her to tell him that its great fun to be evil even if she has to shout in every scene.  Get one of the girl interviewers as well to fly over and stand outside a castle swooning as she interviews Chris Hemsworth about his new baby.  And make sure his hair is still long and tell him to use the Australian accent—we want it now—oh that’s the only accent he can do?  Right.  Right.’

'Now we’ve got the previews to do and we need to get passed those reviewers who may pick up it’s a bit of a dud.  Those useless scriptwriters—should have used dwarves.  Get the publicists to give ‘em a drink when they arrive.  And apples, get apples and put them everywhere—even put them in gift bags with other irrelevant stuff. No, no, we can’t put poison in the reviewer’s apples.  Too obvious.’

'Now we’ve got them sitting there, it’s our last chance to do something positive, let’s play them the spoiler trailer of the movie they are about to see.  Then let’s show them how we made the movie.  Show them the CGI.  I bet they wouldn’t realise we used CGI to make the troll or makeup to make one of the characters old.  Then tell them about the music. The music is really good.  We’ve got James Newton Howard.  He does all the big ones and Florence and the Machine.  She wrote a special song.  Maybe we can get some money back on the soundtrack.  Can’t hurt.'

'Oh and get Chris Hemsworth in again telling everyone how good the film and Director is, and tell him he can use his Australian accent.  Right, right, I forget that’s all he uses.  Is his hair still long?  Good, good.  Get him to Sydney for the Australian opening. Tell them he’s been surfing. That’s what they do in Australia in their spare time.  Can you get Kristen to Australia and get her in the reel?  Tell her to smile when she talks about the filming.  Oh, she doesn’t smile.  It’s in her contract?  Why?  Why can’t she smile?  Too many years as Twilight’s Bella, and everyone knows smiling gives you wrinkles.  Shame—pretty girl.'

‘Of course, it’s a good idea to show an audience how a film is made just before they see the film.  They want the spoilers and they know it’s just an illusion on screen, so why wouldn’t you tell them everything?  No there can’t possibly be reviewers who avoid pre-knowledge about a film before they see it, so they can experience it fresh as a ticket-paying film-goer would.’

‘Oh dear the reviews are coming in and it didn’t work.  Told you we should have put something in the apples.   Look on the bright side, we’ve still got “Alice in Wonderland” to our name and Johnny Depp is still returning our calls.' 

'Any more of these fairy tales we could have a swing at?  What about that “Rumpelstiltskin?  Get the Dwarf Union on the phone—tell ‘em we can make it up to them.  There’s a part for a baby and one of their members.  Wait, wait, hold that thought, get Depp on the phone.  Ask him does he mind if we digitize his body to make him shorter?  It’s a fairy tale for $#@&*’s sake, how can it fail?’

Disney Pixar's "Brave" ★ ★ ★ ★ ½

MY KINGDOM FOR THE HAIR

Release Dates
Australia 21st June, 2012   USA 22nd June, 2012   UK 17th August, 2012 Other Countries Release Dates

In the best books and films, we fall in love with the characters—their personality, their strengths, their struggles with their weaknesses, their style.  In ‘Brave’s’, Merida, Disney Pixar has given us not only a beautiful character  that young and old will love, they have also given us her Hair.  That’s right, I said, her hair. 

Let me tell you, I now dream about owning a Merida doll or a Merida wig or a blanket made from Merida hair.  This red, flowing, gorgeous, wavy and ringletted matter is stunning.   It has a life and a beauty of its own and I’m looking forward to a sequel to see what becomes of Merida’s hair.

And that is part of the magic of this film, the animation is the most exquisitely divine ever seen on screen.  Producer and Pixar veteran, Katherine Sarafian, comments “'Brave’ has a visual complexity that’s at a new level—even for Pixar.  Ancient Scotland—with horses, bears and human beings—is about as organic as you can get. There’s absolutely nothing easy in the film. We’ve pushed the look, pushed our technology and pushed our artists to new heights. Merida’s wild, curly mane of red hair and the complexity of clothing on all of the characters—from formal dresses to tunics, cloaks and armor, plus layers and layers of kilt—made this our most challenging film yet.”

To prepare for this assignment, the eighty strong animation team engaged in sword fighting, took archery lessons, wore kilts, rode horses, visited the zoo, heard lectures from an expert on Scottish accents, studied iconic and contemporary films set in Scotland, and watched nature documentaries about bears and horses. Director Mark Andrews himself gave biweekly lessons in swordplay. The daily animation reviews would often end with an invitation to pick up a sword and act out a particular shot move-for-move.

 John Lasseter, chief creative officer for Walt Disney and Pixar Animation Studios and an executive producer of ‘Brave, says, “It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen. That’s what we love to do at Pixar. We love to go to new worlds and present stories that you’ve never seen before. It’s a tour de force of technology and artistry.”

The story introduces Pixar’s first female hero in Merida (Kelly Macdonald) a Scottish princess destined to marry one of the son’s of the four clans.  The necessity of the marriage is steeped in Scottish folklore and history and it appears unavoidable.  Since childhood, Merida has behaved more like her boisterous father, King Fergus (Billy Connolly) than a demure royal daughter.  She becomes an expert archer and a beloved sister to her brothers, identical triplets Harris, Hubert and Hamish—adorable mischievous young red-headed boys (and even they’ve got good hair). 

Merida, like her hair, will not be tamed.  As she grows older her struggle against her destiny and her Mother Queen Elinor’s (Emma Thompson) expectations that she play the perfect Princess, tears the Mother and daughter apart.  When the clans come together to celebrate the betrothal of Merida, to the winner of a physical challenge, everything comes to a head.   Merida sets forth on a path which brings her a humorous encounter with a witch (Julie Walters) who grants her an ill-considered spell.  In her plight to reverse the spell Merida must discover truths about herself and her Mother and what it means to be brave.  The story evokes the true emotional turmoil of a teenager breaking free from her parent's rule.

"There’s a reason why the story of “Brave” is so relevant," says director Brenda Chapman. "It’s inspired by a real relationship. I was dealing with a very headstrong daughter.  She was so passionate and so strong—and she was four at the time. I thought, ‘What’s she going to be like as a teenager?'"

“I started to imagine what a fairy tale would be like,” continues Chapman, “with a working mom and a really willful daughter whose strength you don’t want to squash—but sometimes you do want to squash it a little. But in the end, it wasn’t a fairy tale at all. ‘Brave’ turned out to be more of an epic action-adventure.”

‘Brave  is the tenth original film from Disney Pixar, and as in all their films—as masterful as their animation may be—it’s the parable within the story that reaches out from the screen and drags you in.  It reminds us all that bravery is not only in fighting for your beliefs but striving to understand others.   Oh, and lest we not forget, accepting that you will never have hair like Merida no matter how much product you use.

Take This Waltz ) ★ ★ ★

Kindly Reviewed by John Richard

Release Dates

Australia: 14th June, 2012 USA:  29th June 2012   UK 17th August 2012

Other Countries: Release Dates

Perth West Australian FilmGoers: Click here for Luna Palace Website session times

Canadian Sarah Polley both wrote and directed Take This Waltz.  Perhaps better known as an actor, Sarah [she started her career as a child actor] has in recent years given her audiences fine films as both a director and screen writer.  Is Take This Waltz one of those ‘fine’ films?  To some degree it is but overall there is a feeling of being let down.  The cast is fine, the film quality good, vocal audio not so good and the music augments the story.

Take This Waltz tells the story of a young married couple Margot and Lou Rubin.  Lou (played by Seth Rogen, The Green Hornet) is well settled into married life and writes cook books specialising in ways to cook chicken.  His wife Margot (Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain) appears to have no work other than being an aspiring writer although we experience little effort in that direction.  The married life routine which Lou has settled into does not suit Margot quite as well.  On a short trip to Montreal, Margot meets Daniel (Luke Kirby, Cra$h & Burn TV) an aspiring artist.  They meet again on a plane returning to their hometown and progress to cautiously flirt. They share a taxi ride to their respective homes only to find that they live across the street from each other.  During the taxi ride Margot informs Daniel that she is married.

We are taken through the daily lives of Margot and Lou and increasingly sense that Margot is bored and discontented.  Lou’s little asides and word-games were earlier in the relationship viewed by Margot as being loving and cute, yet now she participates less enthusiatically.  We see Margot spending more time looking across the street as she watches Daniel’s comings and goings.  To support himself Daniel operates a rickshaw around the city streets.  On one occasion as Daniel arrives home Margot meets him and visits his studio/apartment.  Daniel shows her some of his artwork, some of which she finds disturbing.  Although she beats a hasty retreat on this occasion she remains drawn to Daniel and continues to flirt with him and seek out opportunities to meet.

Lou’s extended family; mother, sister, and brother-in-law feature in family gatherings and show that Margot is a part of that grouping and treated as one of them.  She has an endearing relationship with a young niece.  Aside from these moments the relationship between Margot and Lou slowly disintegrates.  Margot spends more time away from home and invariably finds herself in the company of Daniel who pursues her relentlessly promising a life wildly different from that with Lou.

Not unexpectedly Margot leaves Lou and sets out to live with Daniel.  Lou cannot comprehend why she departs, but continues on with his life by completing and publishing his book.  They meet again as part of the family group.  This time not for a celebration, but for the resolution of a problem involving Lou’s sister.  Take part in resolving the problem does not reconcile Margot with Lou, she leaves him at his front door and returns to Daniel.

Life with Daniel involves parties, fun, sexual exploration of various types, but like all lives it settles into a routine.  It is at that point where Margot again succumbs to boredom.  She still does not appear to be working, we no longer see her at her computer and the scene closes with Margot staring into the distance while leaning against an oven waiting for her cup-cakes to bake.  It was at that point that the 1960s song “Is that all there is?” would have been an appropriate theme to reflect Margot’s disenchantment.

The film presents a theme previously explored by other writers and directors, the interplay between a couple and a third party.  The story has been told in a better manner by others and Take This Waltz does not add to previous attempts or set out to excel these.  The characters are well cast.  Seth Rogen and Luke Kirby submit pleasing performances.  Michelle Williams reprises, in many ways, a role she has played before and appears to play her part by the numbers.  I was concerned that my hearing was less than adequate until other audience members commented that Williams was very difficult to understand and parts of her dialogue were near inaudible.

It is clear that Sarah Polley invested time and effort into bringing this story to the screen; the locations are well-selected; the direction is good; and, the music assists in the mood of the film.  The overall result is a film that, although pleasing, does little to add to the viewer’s experience of storytelling via the medium of the cinema.

Thank you to John Richard for this review.